The Duck, Dive and Dodge

We have all at least been in one of those awkward situations where you run into a ghost of the past. You’re forced to plaster on a smile and endure causal chit chat, as decent humans do when seeing each other, for what feels like forever.

Since those situations are unnervingly tense and straight up awkward, many, including myself, try best to avoid them at all costs. And therefore I introduce you to the three D’s of avoidance, Duck, Dive and Dodge.

The trick to having any one of these succeed is subtlety and fabled naivety. Nothing is more awkward than having the person notice your avoidance strategies. In those cases, it’s better to have the chit chat.

At campus there are so many students and people around that there is a possibility you may run into a old, tucked away and forgotten friend from way back in primary school or an ex-something.

Maybe things never went down so well in primary school, with all the adolescent drama your heart could contain, and Heaven forbid this person stole your sticker collection thrashing your friendship. What do you do when your peripheral vision catches sight of them approaching?

·Step 1: Don’t Panic,

·Step 2: They’ll probably avoid you as well, especially if you aren’t regular chit chat buds (you know, the kind you run into so often that there is a method strategy to your chit chats)

·Step 3: Don’t Panic.

·Step 4: If you think there is eye contact and your human instincts feel compelled to wave, that’s perfectly fine.

·Step 5: If they don’t acknowledge your existence, it’s their loss, but you better make sure you tuck that flailing hand away smoothly. There is no need to feel more humiliated at that moment (trust me, I know).

·Step 6: Avoid looking in said person’s direction if you can’t deal with the awkward lifestyle.

·Step 7: If they decide to acknowledge your existence while you’re acting oblivious, don’t be a tool- wave back, we just hashed out how crap it feels to have your efforts ignored in step 5.

·Step 8: Don’t Panic. That will just make you seem suspiciously strange and will ruin your 3D attempts.

·Step 9: Smoothly walk away (do not walk away hastily, it needs to seem natural and nonchalant) if you don’t want to risk either of the potential situations that may ensue- from chit chat to flat out humiliation.

· Step 10: If you don’t want to move and have claimed the land you stand on as your own- look busy. People tend not to bother with people who seem preoccupied.

These ten steps are sure to help to avoid the awkward run-ins- provided you perform them well enough. If not, all the best and endure the awkward, because it will probably be mutual.

Written By: Saara Mowlana